Today is a beautiful day. It’s chilly out but the sun is shining and there is a lot of light around me but something is off about today.
Some of you don’t know but I’m a senior in college (and no, I’m not graduating in May) and this is the fourth day into the new semester. As assignments, exams, papers, and projects are piling up I’m realizing how lonely this semester is going to be.
It’s weird when you realize you’re outgrowing something, a chapter in life. You know the feeling? When a certain part of life is almost complete and you can feel the cold, dark feeling of the unknown just around the corner. It’s quite unnerving.
I think that’s where I’m at currently.
I go to campus, and hardly see anyone I know anymore. That’s what happens when you move off-campus too, you lose that close-knit community you once had. I didn’t think it would be this quiet, mundane.
I go to class and see my fellow colleagues, all of us just trying to graduate. We have that in common but they aren’t my true friends.
After class though, I’m alone again. Free to my thoughts and my mind. It’s nice in a way to be alone but it’s hard too. I’ve never been one to have a lot of friends and that’s suited me just fine but a girl still needs people in her life.
Things are changing, like the seasons.
Leaves falling off the trees, withering to the cold but only to make way to something new and beautiful.
As I sit here, with the sun shining through the window, I know that there is something new and amazing coming around the corner. A new chapter to be written. I don’t know what it will be but it will be great.
God says in His word in Hebrews 13 “… never shall I leave you or forsake you” and He lovingly means that.
This time in life, I’ve never felt more lonely and disconnected from my friends and the community that I’ve known. People grow up and grow apart, away, and that’s just the way things are but at the same time I’ve never felt more whole in God’s presence.
Knowing that He doesn’t change, that He’s constant, is a comfort.
I feel whole in Him.