Happy Tuesday everyone,
So I thought I would give you guys a little preview of my last few days. They were filled with a little fun, a lot of tears, and learning how to trust.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feeling lonely in the season I’m in. Feeling completely stuck while everyone else around me is zooming into the next phases of their lives (careers, marriage, travelling, etc.) I feel as if my friends are doing so many amazing things and I’m still here trying to graduate.
All of those emotions were amplified the last few days for reason unknown to me but never the less there I was on Saturday, sitting in my apartment wallowing in it. I would’ve invited you all to my little pity party. The self-loathing and doubt make for great fun! 🙂
So there I was sitting in my apartment and my Mom happened to give me a phone call. Now if you know me personally, you know that I have a very close relationship with my Mom and I talk to her about everything. When that phone rang, I knew it was going to turn into me crying and her consoling me on the other end. She is the most self-less person I know and has always been. The conversation ended with her telling me, as she does usually, that I was right where I needed to be in life and my time was coming to do all those amazing things.
I felt instantly better and decided to go to the grocery store not knowing that even more stress lay ahead.
The rest of my day and the weekend through today insisted of me dealing with car troubles. The necessary evil of life. That sinking feeling you get when you go out to start your car and old Bertha is “dead-as-a-doornail”. Let me just say I’ve had my fair share of dealing with cars that don’t start and have issues but I just hate dealing with it period.
There I was sitting in a dead car, waiting for triple A, feeling sorry for myself. Feeling so alone. All I wanted was someone else to be there with me and I literally burst into tears thinking about all of it.
But in the midst of all the emotions and chaos around me through these last few days in the dealings with stress, and old Bertha, I realized that I was never alone.
Though I couldn’t see Him, Jesus was right there with me. In that dead car, in my apartment when I thought I was alone. He had His arms around me the whole time.
I think we do this a lot during our day-to-day stresses. In those moments when we are totally freaking out, we forget that we aren’t alone in it. God has placed us in those moments for a reason. What that reason is…. I couldn’t tell you. But I find comfort in knowing that He’s already seen my future meltdowns, my lonely moments, my future anger at Bertha, and so much more.
Preaching to the choir: Don’t get hung up on life’s annoying little things and remember that your purpose here is far greater than all that chaos!
Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God…”
much love and comfort,