I’ve never much cared for those awkward first day “Introduce Yourself” productions in a classroom. They even do it in college, which I thought I had gotten away from but unfortunately haven’t. Going into my last year as an undergrad, I have my fingers crossed for these intros to be over but no one is safe from it.
It always goes something like this.
You walk into a brightly lit classroom that’s just been doused in all-purpose cleaner and try to find a spot that’s not too close to the front and a little bit away from the many strangers surrounding you. You try to keep to yourself as much as possible, hoping that the first day, syllabus speech will go by quickly so you can go back to your dorm or apartment to take a nap. Then, the professor comes in. Either a middle-aged, white man in a button-down and khakis or a woman in a lawyer style business-suit or dress. I’ve seen both kinds in my time but either way you’re not sure what to expect of the person who could easily fail you at the end of the semester. They hold the power over your GPA and that, in and of itself, is a little scary.
They start off with the typical “Hello class. Welcome to blah blah blah 101. My name is blah blah.” After this all bets are off as to what will happen. The scenarios here are endless so I’ll just let you come up with this part.
Then the part that we’ve all been dreading. “Let’s all introduce ourselves to one another. Let’s start with you here at the front. Give us your name, your major, and something interesting about yourself.” So then comes the awkwardness of introducing who we are to complete strangers.
It’s not the fact of having to talk in front of people that I hate about this so much but it’s about delving out something “interesting” about ourselves. I’ve always struggled with that part.
I mean, really, I’m not that interesting. Compared to others out there, I’m just simple, old me. Nothing spectacular or glitzy about it.
My typical response is either something that isn’t true or something that isn’t that interesting at all. Something like “I can play an instrument” or “I’ve never flown on an airplane” aren’t exactly winning any awards for being spectacular feats of man.
But I realize that it’s easy to completely make up something about ourselves either positive or negative. We mainly want people to like us so we try to be something that sometimes we aren’t. But imagine how much more awkward it would be if that professor said instead “Tell us your most flawed quality or something you don’t like about yourself”. That makes me cringe even more.
In life, I think we try so hard to cover up all of our negative qualities with things that are a little embellished and a little untrue. We work to be a better version of ourselves, sometimes not even dealing with the pain underneath it.
Would this world be better or any different if we were to be completely honest with ourselves and others about our flaws? Maybe.
So here’s me and my flaws.
It’s not so easy but it’s me, all of me.
I have trust issues, I build up walls when I feel hurt and I close myself off to people. I don’t take risks because I’m afraid of getting hurt. I can be quite controlling at times, blowing things out of proportion in my mind. I’m overly emotional about things and I tend to project that emotion onto others. I’m selfish. I’m lazy. I’m impatient in situations that aren’t going my way. Pessimism runs through my veins at blazing speeds and can rule in my heart. At times I’m weak-willed and I wallow in doubting myself and my abilities.
This is me. The worst parts of myself and I own them but I also fight them daily with the good things about myself.
We shouldn’t focus on one set or another but on all of these qualities as a whole to see the entire person we are.
It’s okay to be a little flawed because flaws are beautiful. Flaws make us human.