Girly Things · Health · Life

Pretty Little Thoughts: Forgiveness

Hey there beautiful people,

So I’ve been catching up on Pretty Little Liars the past few days and I just have to write about something related to that. Just so you know, I got hooked on the show about two years ago. It was my favorite for a while but with all the details that the plot has, it got a little bit hard to keep up with. Then, life happened and I took a break from it. From there it went downhill but I’ve never completely given up on it. I just powered through the end of season 5, even though I really didn’t completely grasp everything that was happening… but I finally made it to the end and I’m in the middle of season 6, episode 2. For those that don’t want spoilers, I suggest you quit reading now.

Okay so, for those that have watched it, I’ve just learned who “A” was this whole time. CeCe, AKA Charlotte, AKA Charles DiLaurentis, who is also the once brother-turned-sister of Alison and Jason. I honestly never guessed this but that’s the point isn’t it. So anyway the finale of season 5 left us with CeCe being locked in a mental institution after being arrested and charged with the kidnapping of our liars. (By the way, those whole two episodes where they are trapped down in that bunker thing was creepy!)  I digress, so anyway the next season leaves us with the girls all going off to college. How happy!! I actually love it when shows do this because you don’t know what to expect when it starts to reveal where they are now. All the best shows I’ve watched have done this (One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, Heroes etc).

So the girls are back and have just gone to the hearing to appeal to a judge for the possible release of CeCe. Apparently our former “A” has done so well in the institution and has become close with Ali, that she has petitioned to bring her sister home. I mean, I get it, I do… but let’s not forget everything she did to the liars throughout those many years. It’s tough! The girls all sit down and lie to the judge, except for Aria, who honestly speaks out about how terrified she still is. The trauma that they all experienced by the hands of “A” is unspeakable. I know it’s a TV show but being kidnapped like they were would really damage a person. Aria, during her testimony, says something that really had me thinking. She mentions that she could never forgive her for everything she’s done, that she is still terrified to be in the dark and doesn’t want CeCe to ever get out.

I applaud her honesty and being willing to openly admit that. To admit that you aren’t over something, that something still hurts you takes a lot of strength to say. In the real world, outside of fictional television, people hurt other people. Do downright terrible things to each other. Victims of trauma carry what happened to them for the rest of their lives. I get it… I do…

If I were sitting in front of Aria in that moment, I would have totally agreed with her. I would be scared. I wouldn’t want that person to get out and possibly come after me or hurt more people. I would carry around all that pain and anger. No forgiveness would come from me for a while.

But here’s the thing… forgiving someone for something they did to you isn’t you saying that what they did was okay or that you are totally going to forget about it. Of course it wasn’t, and of course you won’t. You were a victim of whatever happened and you have every right to feel what you are feeling.

Forgiveness should be for you, and you alone. It should be you freeing yourself from the pain that person brought into your life. Allowing someone else’s actions affect you, only affects you. Your anger won’t change them… they won’t feel that. Only you will and you have the power to let go of that pain. For yourself. It brings you to a higher level of healing and gives hope back to your heart.

Forgiveness is like a scar forming on a wound that was once open, painful, bleeding. It’s not completely gone but it doesn’t hurt anymore and the deeper damage has healed.

So if you’re hurting today because of something someone did to you, take a step back and look at things. If it’s affecting you, causing you to be less hopeful or be less of the unique you… then maybe it’s time to forgive, for YOU. Let go of the pain that someone else decided to bring into your life. Remember, you didn’t do that, they did. Let them grovel and hurt with their own actions. Don’t let them steal your joy! That’s power that they don’t even deserve.

Free your heart and soul.

Forgive.

much love,

Brittany

 

 

 

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