I once again sit here while my sweet husband is in the other room. He is preparing for his sermon he will be sharing with our church tomorrow. Please keep him in your prayers as he earnestly seeks the Lord for peace and clarity regarding what he will say. Don’t tell him I said this- but I think he will do amazingly well (I’m only like 90% partial).
It’s been three months today since we said our “I do’s”. It’s crazy to think how much time has passed and also how little time has passed, especially compared to other married couples out there, like my parents who have been married for 23 years now!!! I’ve learned so much in just these three months, I wonder how much more I will learn by then?!?!?
As those distant wedding bells still ring in my ears today, I thought I’d share a little bit about what to expect for any soon-to-be married brides out there on anything and everything regarding the wedding experience. I will try my best to cover all topics on here from my own experiences so far. Guys, you are welcome to read as well, you could learn about your new bride if you are soon getting married.
(Sidenote: Just a little background information- I was 23 years old when I married my husband, I waited until marriage to engage in sexual intimacy with my husband, and I am about seven years into my walk with Christ. I want you guys to understand where I’m coming from in writing this blog and my own personal background to give you an insight of who I am. If you’re a Christian and you aren’t a virgin, because of your past- you are not disqualified from having a new and pure sexual life in your marriage, especially if you’re born again and are no longer that person. Remember that you have been cleansed and redeemed because of Jesus’ life changing power on the cross. You are made new, and your old self has died. You are a new creation! There is so much in store for you. Remember this as well ladies if you are a virgin and marrying a man who isn’t because of his past- he is NEW! He is not his past and YOU , yes YOU, get to spend the rest of your life with him, and that is so special.)
So what all is there to expect? Well, a lot more than I realized. I have compiled a list of 20 things you should keep in mind (or not, I’m no expert) on your wedding day, wedding night, and the weeks after.
- Enjoy every single second of the day. You don’t get that time back! Don’t be a bridezilla, all worried about insignificant things. Sit back, relax, and laugh! This is your big day.
- Eat something the morning of – this can help with nerves. I had a banana on my wedding morning, which was just about all my stomach could handle. Don’t overeat and don’t starve yourself either. Be healthy about it!
- Make time, before your day starts and people are swarming around you, to spend time with God to pray and ask Him to prepare your heart and your groom for the big day and your life together. Pray for wisdom and courage.
- Take your time. If something is falling behind schedule it is okay! Your day is your day- it won’t go on without you, you are the bride after all!
- Spend time with your Mom (if she’s here or another Mother-figure that you consider your Mom. I know there are certain situations out there.) Whoever she is, she’s your Mom and this day may be a little hard for her or emotional. You may not fully understand what she is feeling but make a point to spend time with her- an intimate moment for a photo is perfect for this.
- Enjoy that walk down the aisle- it’s sweet and will go by really fast.
- If you wrote your own vows (like we did) take your time reading them. I was really nervous for this part but my sister encouraged me the week of our wedding, who was the only person to hear them before the ceremony, to just take a deep breath and read slowly. Take a pause if you have to. These words are important and tell your new spouse exactly what you feel for them and are the promises you are making to them. Make the moment yours.
- DELEGATE- get some bossy people to do stuff for you! So you’re not running around stressed out . The bride should not be stressed out on her wedding day!
- Eat at your reception, dance, enjoy it! You only get this time once and before you know it you will be leaving the reception, on the way to your honeymoon, wondering where the time went.
- Don’t forget to love on and say goodbye to your family before you leave, they will miss you the most.
The Wedding Night and Beyond
The day is over. You are married!!! You and your new husband just left your reception, said your goodbyes, and are now headed to wherever – as newly husband and wife. Then the reality sets in.. that you are getting ready to go back home (for us, we went and stayed in our now home on our first night as husband and wife) or to a hotel, leaving for your honeymoon the next day. Whatever your plans are, as a new wife you are possibly wondering what the next few hours hold. Panic or fear may be setting in.. but take heart, you are going to be just fine. Here are 10 things to expect for your wedding night and honeymoon that may ease your mind a little.
- COMMUNICATE- Talk about the big word… S-E-X. Hopefully you did while you were dating and engaged. Hopefully you had boundaries set in place that kept you from having sex before you were married to each other. My Husband and I talked about everything. I discussed with him my fears and I asked him questions. We were open with each other before he ever asked me to marry him and because I knew what his expectations were and what his fears were as well, I was a lot more comfortable with him about the topic of sex. My husband reassured me that he only cared about honoring me and keeping our marriage bed pure- which means not allowing anything unholy to come into that. God designed sex to be pleasurable and beautiful between a married man and woman. It is not shameful, it is not disgusting, and it is not unholy. Ladies, I want to encourage you as well to talk to other trusted women in your church – bible study leaders, mentors, etc. that are married and ask them about their experiences and any advice they can give. I was so thankful for the women around me within my church that I was able to honestly ask questions to and who reassured me about things that I was nervous about. Also, don’t bring your past into your relationship now- whether you are or aren’t a virgin, your marriage is new and pure within God’s perfect covenant. No one else is involved there and don’t let anyone else be involved there.
- This one is for the virgins – it’s perfectly OKAY to be a little nervous about your wedding night. Take a minute, when you get home by yourself and just breathe. You’re entering into a beautiful union with your husband exactly how God intended. Your man of God that you are now married to, will be gentle with you and will not force you into anything. He will take his time, and will let you do exactly what you need to. He won’t rush you or make it about himself. He will devote himself to you on this night and every night after, because that’s his heart. God has given him this purity and he will honor it as he should.
- Take your time. Rushing into sex the first time may make it more uncomfortable than it already might be and will bring about more nervousness for both of you. My husband and I spent at least thirty minutes still in our wedding clothes when we got home and danced in our living room together. Don’t rush!!
- It may hurt a little or be uncomfortable- don’t freak out but don’t force it either. Stop if you need to and start again. (Repeat number 3 here)
- Ladies- it’s probably TMI but make sure you pee afterwards, this prevents from UTI’s. 🙂 You’ll thank me!
- During your honeymoon – don’t think that you just have to have sex the whole time you’re there. Make sure to take a break and listen to your bodies, if you’re tired then rest. We went to the mountains and went out and hiked for a few hours. Go explore where you’re at!
- It’s normal to feel a little sad after the honeymoon – when normal life sets in. Just know that your passion doesn’t end because of it . Your honeymoon stage doesn’t have to be over, you have the power to keep your relationship in that stage when you invest in your spouse and commit yourself to them. Life will go on, but you are doing life together now as one flesh, as a team. Embrace it.
- Put on your wedding dress from time to time to re-live it. Its okay to cry when you put it back on too.
- Give each other wiggle room as you grow with each other and learn more about each other. You may bump heads and have arguments, don’t let it last long, talk about it, forgive each other, and keep moving on together.
- Grow in your marriage- you get forever with him and will have so much ahead of you on your journey. There is no need to rush any of it. Enjoy every day with them, they are your partner for life.
So there you have it. I know that there is so much more I will learn in the next 80 years with my husband but that’s been my experience for now. It’s been the best three months of my life so far and I can’t wait to gain more knowledge. If you are getting married soon and you read this please leave me a comment and feel free to ask any questions for something I may have missed. 🙂 I pray that your wedding day and life with your new spouse is just as God-centered and sweet as mine was and is.
Thanks for staying with me and reading my life!
blessings and love,
*Disclaimer: The photos used here are my property. Do not copy or reuse without permission from the owner.